"Wildlife" in the Tropics

I walked into the kitchen this morning and flipped on the light to find this staring me in the face. One of our many household lizards bit the dust in the electric socket last night. I used to think indoor lizards were a bit creepy, but after finding them in my water glass or having them fall off the porch ceiling onto my head, I’ve just accepted them as a normal, even welcome, part of daily life in Thailand. (After all, they cut down on mosquitos!) This got me thinking about the other creatures prowling around our neighborhood. Even though we live in the tropics, most of the “wildlife” here in the city is not as exotic as you might think.

Don't mess with 220-volt outlets.

The Neighborhood Cat
Our neighbors are great at rallying around this cat and collectively caring for it. For some reason, the cat prefers to live in our yard. That is until this month’s “cold spell” when the cat showed up in a fluffy sweater too thick to squeeze through our front gate. Just how “cold” was it when I took the picture? Eighty-six degrees. Don’t hate me America.

Pythons
I’ve never seen a python in our yard, but our neighbors are good at warning us when they see one creeping behind our house. If you’re the type who likes nightmares, try googling “pythons hiding in toilets.” But if you’d rather keep your sanity, just be assured that python attacks in the city are very infrequent!

A friend in our neighborhood caught this guy in her yard last year.

Street Dogs
I’m actually more scared of the local dogs than pythons. Thankfully, the pack that roams our street is pretty calm. When we took the girls out to eat earlier this week, I noticed this cute puppy waiting patiently by our table. When we got up to pay, he sauntered over to the table to lick off the table top and plates! Some other dogs are vicious and have rabies. No one would dare pet them. Last year in America, my daughters were horrified to discover that some families allow these creatures INSIDE the home. We had a little cultural explaining to do on that one.

Not ALL street dogs are scary. Like this cute puppy that tried to follow us home.

Rats
We've never had a rat in our house, but the small-cat-sized ones have an odd affinity for dying in our yard. Sometimes they (along with dead pigeons and frogs) reek of death for a few days until we find them under a pile of leaves. I guess I can take comfort in the fact that a dying rat means the pythons are probably at bay.

Bugs
Some of the bugs in city are pretty cool looking. Like this one we found on our porch. God’s creativity amazes me.

A Lantern Bug in our yard. 

The "wildlife" in our urban neighborhood may not be glamorous, but it definitely brings variety to our lives. I’ll take these tame creatures over the more exotic tropical animals of South East Asia any day!

EDIT: To those of you who seem to think we're "brave" for living here, let me say that:
1. We really do have it easy compared to most places in the world.
2. We're not dealing with sub-zero temperatures and mice squeezing under our doors. ("Mice" here can't fit in our house!)

We're not the brave ones after all. :)

Uncomfortable Is Not Always Bad

We just ended an 8-month furlough in the States. One of the first things we did after landing in Thailand was test drive our new (or used-to-be-new-20-years-ago) car. Carefully, but confidently, Nate got behind the wheel, and pulled out on to a narrow, winding road.

Within the first 30-seconds, a car slowly approached us head-on driving on the wrong side of the street. That’s not all that uncommon in Thailand, but as the vehicle got closer, the driver didn’t get out of our way. We couldn’t figure out if he was planning to park his car in the side ditch, or if he was just drunk. Finally, the offending car went back to the correct side, and we were able to pass safely. After passing, Nate and I looked at each other with jet-lagged, raised eyebrows. Then it dawned on us--WE were at fault. After getting comfortable driving in the States, we forgot Thais drive on the other side of the road!  

This got me thinking. We nearly caused an accident because we were comfortable. When we are comfortable, we assume we are competent. And when we assume we are competent, we believe we are right, despite what the facts are telling us. This can be a dangerous place if we are not careful to keep our focus on Jesus and His Word.

It’s dangerous if I think my Western values are “right” when they are simply cultural, not Biblical.

It’s dangerous to embrace all of Thailand’s wonderful culture if parts of it are, indeed, against God’s Word.

The Bible and the Holy Spirit’s guidance are our tools for navigating the tricky boundaries of right and wrong in another culture. May we never stray far from these.

In the last six years, many of my prayers have revolved around my own comfort in getting to know, love, and understand Thai culture. But this year, I think I will add a new prayer.

“Lord, make me uncomfortable. Make me humble. Make me rely on YOU for my radar of right and wrong. Help me shed the blinders of both cultures that keep me from understanding your truth. Amen.”

P.S. The girls and I have a tradition of praying for God’s protection every time we get into the car. This morning I asked Karis to pray. As I pulled onto the highway, I heard a little voice peep up in the backseat. “God, please help Mommy drive on the right side of the road!”

"I Could Never Be You"

Being an overseas worker has some challenges. But some of them are not what you would expect. Sure, there are language barriers, missed holidays, and the occasional python. But the challenge that sticks out to me lately is combating the idea that people in full-time ministry have a higher calling than others. Whenever we share with a church or Bible study group, we generally have at least one person who tells us that they could never do what we’re doing.

Let’s be honest. I couldn’t do what they’re doing. Teaching in the public school system. Caring for a child with special needs. Living in chronic pain. Working the mundane, dead-end job. Or thriving in the high-stress business situation.

It’s not that I don’t have the ability to do these things. (Although in same cases I may not.) It’s not that I would curl up in the fetal position after a week of trying. (Although in same cases I may.) It’s just that God hasn’t called me to that particular life in this particular instant. Just like he hasn’t called you to live my life.

To tell the truth, I often think my “challenges” look pretty easy compared to many others. I am tempted by complacency. I need to continually ask the Holy Spirit to show me how He wants me to change. But I’m reminded that the value of one’s life and ministry is not dependent on the strength, stamina or status of the worker. It is dependent on the God who works through His workers.

So whether God has called you to wait tables, be a CEO, change diapers, or dine with the queen, live the life that God has called for YOU. Carry-on, warrior. You are the only person who can live the unique life to which God is calling you. May we help each other as we both join in the larger picture of what God is doing.

The Foreign Land Called America

In just 16 days, our family gets on an airplane and starts our journey to strange and interesting country called America. Politics, riots, and lawsuits set aside, there's much to look forward to. Family, friends, dishwashers, dryers, Christmas carols, and chedder cheese make the list. But to be honest, there's a few things we're nervous about as well.

We are no longer 100% American.

Sorry, we’re not. We’re not really Thai either, but we’ve been pretty out of the loop on pop-culture. We first noticed this when my husband that he completely missed March Madness. It was already May. So if you rattle off your favorite actor or TV show, please don’t be offended if I ask if that’s a town in Montana.

I’m going to drive like a 95-year old.

Thailand Traffic.

Seriously. American driving freaks me out a bit. You all drive on the wrong side of the road and go at crazy speeds. If I start to go over 45 mph in Thailand, I feel like I’m really trucking. Plus there are those little black cars with blinking lights on the top that expect people to stop at stoplights and stop signs. Next month, if you see a driver with bloodshot eyes nervously driving at 20 mph on the wrong side of the country road, politely wave and point me in the right direction.

America is a frozen tundra.

Our last venture into America 3 years ago.

Our house in Thailand, on the other hand, usually ranges in the mid 80’s to 90’s inside. A few weeks ago I began planning what clothes I would take to the States. I had a hard time convincing myself anyplace (like New Hampshire in January) could REALLY be cold enough to need long pants. When I pictured myself wearing a heavy winter coat, I may have begun to hyperventilate a little. We will be rocking the 90’s clothes when we’re in the States this winter. We’ve had no need for winter clothes here or in our previous home in Florida.

We love America, but our kids may be homesick.

Just one of the friends we will be leaving behind.

On a more serious note, we and our kids will be leaving a lot of good friends behind. We do our best to help our kids understand that they have two homes. But it’s hard for a 3 or 6 year old to think of “home” a place where she doesn’t remember anyone her age. Especially when “home” covers a region thousands of square miles wide. No matter how good of a friend WE think you are, to our children you are legendary strangers that mom and dad talk about in fairy tales. Please, help us fill in that gap. Let them get to know you.

Overall, we are very excited to leave THIS home that we love and go visit THAT home we love.

But please just have grace and patience with us in our awkward third-culture moments. Our faces till look very American, but don’t be fooled. Our minds are part Thai. Thank goodness our true and never-changing home is in heaven. In the meantime, we look forward to seeing how God molds us and teaches us in these next few months as we visit our other earthy abode.

  

Love THAT Neighbor?

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged. Too much of my computer time these days is spent googling things like “how to get raisins out of a toddler’s nose” and “getting permanent marker off the face.” If you’ve ever lived with a 2 year old, you know what I speak of. But last night (while holding one vomiting child and changing the wet sheets of her sister) I composed a blog in my head. Let us commence.

My excuse for not blogging over the past year.

There’s a 24-hour internet café adjacent to our house. Normally I would like the idea of an internet café so close. But if you are picturing something similar to Starbucks, think again. This café is simply a smelly room crammed with 50 gaming computers. Dozens of teenage boys enter each day to whittle away the hours of their life staring blank-faced at the screen. Many will spend the entire night at the joint, and some will steal money just to support their habit.

The kids emerge from the café from time to time to take a smoke or drug break. Our home, particularly the girl’s play area, fills with smoke and we are awoken by the jarring sounds of revving motorcycles, loud talking, and occasional fighting. The first time my mother visited, the talking was so loud she actually thought the guys were standing in our hallway.

We’ve considered moving, but we love most other things about our house and its location. Instead of leaving, I’ve often prayed that God would shut its doors. I’m ashamed to admit that more times than once on particularly bad nights, I’ve also been tempted to spray pepper spray in the air to try to move the party and smoke farther from our gate.

Last night I was convicted by the Apostle Paul’s approach to trials. In Acts 16, Paul is in jail praying and singing. If I were him, I might be praying for a safe release from prison. But I don’t think that was Paul’s focus. In verse 26, Paul gets his chance. His chains fall off and the doors open. So what does Paul do? Run for comfort and praise God for His blessings? No. He stays and witnesses to the jailer. I wonder if instead of praying for a release from prison, he was focused on how God wanted to use him in the situation. How God wanted to reach others.

My situation is much different. Having loud partiers next door is no comparison to being in jail. But in any troublesome situation, I have two options:

1. Beg God to remove it and give me comfort.
   
   Or
   
2. Seek how God may want to use me to show His love to others.

All too often my prayers and thoughts focus on the first. Give me safe travel. Give me health. Provide for my needs. These aren’t necessarily wrong to pray for. But I’ve been convicted that they shouldn’t be the FOCUS of my relationship with God. We’re not on earth to seek our own comfort and glory. We’re here to love God and love our neighbors. May God give us a heart for the kids next door.

Welcome to Our Neighborhood

When we came to Thailand, some of my family had visions of outhouses and kerosene lamps. We do have an outhouse. But we also have not just one, but TWO, wonderfully western looking toilets and fairly reliable electricity. Our neighborhood is a mix of traditional living and modern conveniences. Perhaps some pictures would show it the best.

DORMS

The view from our dining room.

 

If you exclude the local cockroach population, most of our neighborhood’s residents are college students. Hence lots of dorms. This one (along with several others) towers over our home and peers into our back-yard. (Or should I say back concrete. The “yard” part in the back of our house is about 6 inches wide, but it yields several delicious pineapple plants. Not a bad trade-off in my opinion.)

We love living in this proximity to the students that attend the school where Nate works.

BARS

View from our front gate early in the morning after the night owls of our neighborhood have gone to bed.

Unfortunately, a plethora of bars sometimes accompany college students. Within 100 meters of our home, there’s at least 5 bars. Some tame and some not. As of yesterday one of them was a strip bar, but by God’s grace we think this is in the process of being shut down. Praise God!

CHURCH

Learning about God's creation.

 

Despite some of the lesser desired establishments, Christ is becoming known here. There’s a tiny Thai church that meets behind our house consists of 12 college students and 20-some neighborhood kids. The pastor and his wife, good friends of ours, are on fire to share God’s love with this community. We're excited to see what God does through these believers.

FOOD

Thai chicken noodle soup. Delicious and spicy.

Ahhh. One of the many things I love about Thailand. Within another ¼ mile there are literally dozens of little restaurants and food stands. It’s a wonderful thing. Minus the MSG and pesticides. And the occasional congealed blood. For $1 you can get a plate of delicious stir-fry or curry and sit down for a chat with the restaurant owner. BONUS: Thai people love kids. They'll hold the girls while we eat and don’t even seem to mind the mess of rice and egg that we always seem to leave on the floor.

NOISE:

The view from our bedroom window. A pile of shoes in the morning from the students who spent their entire Saturday night gaming.

With so many people and souped-up motorcycles on one street, noise is inevitable. But the greatest source of noise (now that the strip bar is shut down anyways) is from the internet café next door. College students and teenage boys stay there all night (literally) playing online games. When we wake up in the morning there’s usually still a dozen shoes outside the door indicating the number of (shoeless) gamers still playing inside.

There’s also stray dogs and fights. And trucks that drive by with loud speakers announcing various services. And firecrackers exploding at all hours of the day and night. (Last week we even saw the gas station attendants smoking and lighting firecrackers beside our local gas pumps. Perhaps the laws of science work differently here? Or perhaps I don't understand the mechanics of the local pumps? I didn't stay around long enough to find out.)

On the upside, our girls can sleep through anything. I mean ANYTHING. This is the blessing of living in such a crazy environment and never having the windows closed.

THE PEOPLE:  

One of the many vendors who has graciously extended friendship to our family.

We think our home is very nice, but there ARE many “cleaner” parts of town we could choose to live in. Yet the thing that we love the most about our community is not the fact that I can walk down the street and buy fresh coconuts and mangos. Or the fact that I never have to worry about our kids or music being “too loud” for the neighbors. Or even the blessing of Nate having a 5 minute commute (by foot!) to work. The thing we love is the people. Fun-loving, kind, generous, people. People who, just like us, are in need of a Savior. That is why we hope we can stay in this community for years to come.

Loving Both Worlds

The question we’ve heard the most in the last 3 months has been, “What do you enjoy most about the USA and Thailand.” The most obvious answer is, of course, people. I wish we could transport our US relatives and adopted Thai family wherever we go. But beyond that, here are a few things more superficial things we love about each culture:

Around Town...

USA: Drivers who stay in their lanes, stop at traffic lights, and use lights at night.
THAILAND: The convenience of going the wrong way down a one-way street after I miss my turn.

USA: Understanding every written and spoken word at Walmart.
THAILAND: Being oblivious if every other word turns out to be a swear word.

Food...

The rice aisle at our grocery

USA: An entire grocery aisle dedicated to cereal. (Almost as big as Thailand’s rice aisle.)
THAILAND: Fresh papaya and mango smoothies for breakfast.

USA: Flavorful Mexican restaurants and real ice cream.
THAILAND: $1 plates of Thai food.

Climate…

K's first time going out in the snow

USA: Not waking up in a puddle of sweat every night.
THAILAND: Never needing to make the bed. (It’s way too hot for sheets and blankets.)  

USA: It’s cool enough to play outside for more than 30 min periods.
THAILAND: No need for hats, coats, gloves, or even long sleeves.

Parenting…

THAILAND: Warm air and sun to bleach cloth diapers.
USA: Disposable diapers that don’t leak.

THAILAND: A trip to the doctor only cost $10.
USA: I actually understand what the doctor is trying to tell me.

Ultimately we find that Thais and Americans live life very differently, but at the core, we are all the same--people created by God in need of a Savior. We love the USA, but look forward to returning to our other "home."

Thai Holidays

There are at least 16 public holidays in Thailand. Unlike many holidays where I come from, these events involve very little marketing and lots of celebration. Schools close, business stops, and firecrackers fill the streets. As a foreigner, I have yet to understand some of these holidays—most of them actually. But a few stand out as noteworthy.

Songkran

Songkran has its root in a solemn religious ceremony involving sprinkling water on the shoulders of the elderly, but the tradition has been…uh…adapted. Imagine taking a city of junior high boys, loading them up with barrels of water on the back of a pick-up truck, and letting them drive down the highway tossing buckets of water on each other. That pretty much sums it up. Except that it’s the grandmas, the college professors and the pig-tailed preschoolers participating in the fun. When you run out of water you simply stop at a good Samaritan’s house, grab a hose and refill your industrial-sized trashcan in the back of your truck.

If you step outside during the days surrounding this three-day festival you WILL get wet. Trucks fighting on the interstate maintain relatively normal speeds. When you get closer to the town center, however, the crowd is so thick that it takes 1 hour to drive a 1 mile stretch of road. (Nate thinks 2 hours is a more accurate number. We can’t remember the exact amount of time.)

Sadly, Songkran is not all fun and games. Last year 321 people were killed and 3,040 others were injured during the event. (Mostly due to motorcycle accidents.) You can see why we were glad that Baby "A" chose to arrive late, avoiding the need to drive to the hospital (located by the busiest part of town) during this festival.

Loi Krathong and Yi Peng
Now imagine taking those buckets of water and turning them into flaming lanterns and firecrackers. That’s sort of what these festivals feel like, at least in our neighborhood. Again, the roots go back to making floating offerings to the water goddesses and making merit by lighting lanterns. But to the Westerner, one of the most apparent pieces of the celebration is beautiful FIRE. And lots of it.

During our first year here we took K to a neighborhood celebration that felt like a giant walking potluck happening in the middle of the street. All the restaurant owners brought out their three-gallon pots and served up free, delicious (well, mostly delicious) delicacies of…stuff. Mostly made hot peppers, rice noodles, and a few undefined animal parts. Since the event began after sunset, it was too dark to tell exactly WHAT we were eating, but at every table, a smiling neighbor would add another paper plate of food to my already full hands.

Most of my memories from that night revolve around trying to balance five paper plates of food (with no idea where to dispose of any of them) while trying to keep K out of the way of the exploding fireworks that seemed to be sporadically taking off from random people’s back pockets. It was crazy. And amazing. Partially amazing because we all got out of there with all limbs intact.

The rest of the celebration involves lots of lanterns (think mini hot-air balloons.) Our friends taught us how to launch these. With their expertise, we were mostly successful. But from our balcony view I could see quite a few less successful lanterns burning in trees and in the road. Again, no one else seemed concerned. Thai people are amazingly adept at keeping the combustion under control--or at least pretending it doesn't exist. This event taught me that my (perhaps paranoid) view of fire safety is radically different from my neighbors.

While Loi Krathing isn’t actually a holidays, (it’s one of the many festivals that goes above and beyond the 16 “official” public holidays) it’s definitely worth experiencing.

Royal Plowing Day
Not all Thai holidays are high drama. (At least not in the eyes of the foreigner.) I still have yet to figure out the ins and outs of Royal Plowing Day. It involves hooking up oxen to plow the rice fields, offering them a variety of food like beans and rice whiskey, and then predicting the outcome of the farming season based on what they choose to eat. It’s sort of like groundhog day except that it’s taken a lot more seriously and schools and businesses close for it. Who can complain about that?

Considering the amount of rice that is consumed in Thailand, it totally makes sense to have a holiday to kick off the season, and it’s great to see the community (including the Royal family) rally behind it.

Children’s Day

Ahh…There’s the event I missed out on as a kid. It’s just what it sounds like—a day to honor, spoil, and celebrate kids. Hallmark is missing out on this one.

While we do miss gathering with our families during our traditional American holidays, we can’t complain about a lack of celebrations happening in Thailand. I also can’t complain about the Thai style of skipping the commercialism and going straight to the main event. This Thanksgiving when you’re eating your cranberries and turkey, know our celebration is, well, turkeyless. But we’re having the time of our lives making friends, eating chicken feet soup and avoiding those fireworks…this year from the safety of our balcony.

The Market for Beauty

The market for “beauty” looks different in every culture. I first noticed this when I went to buy deodorant in Thailand. No deodorant on the shelf made claims to make the buyer smell better, perspire less, or feel fresher. Instead they claimed to turn the buyer’s armpits a few shade whiter. Yes, whiter. While my western friends are lying in the sun and investing in tanning sprays, my Thai friends are purchasing soaps, shaving cream, and lotions to make them paler.

Even food is not exempt from this marketing scheme. Today I found a whitening smoothie on my menu.

Other attractive features in Thai culture seem to be large, broad noses and small biceps for college boys. I’ve been told that some of the guys even take feminine hormones to try to decrease their muscle size.

Again, from my American upbringing, this makes no sense. But who’s to say that desiring tan skin and large biceps makes sense. And why do we make such a big deal about everything from the color of our hair to the width of our toes?

Man looks at the external appearances, but God looks at the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7) For those of you who stare in the mirror every morning and can’t stop thinking about how undeniably gorgeous you are, perhaps this might be sad news. But for the rest of us, we can rejoice that God made us in His image. Tan or pale, large or small, brown eyes or blue eyes, we all have a chance to harvest beauty in our heart. Stop stressing, people, (I include myself in that exhortation) and stick it to the marketing companies. God made all people and all cultures beautiful AS THEY ARE.

A Few More Observations from Asia…

Sizes

Upon first arriving in Thailand, we were thrilled to find that our city has a Dairy Queen, complete with DQ bars and blizzards. Blizzards come in 4 sizes: small, medium, large and extra-large. The extra large is about the size of an American “small.” Here it’s called a “Take Home.”

The size conversion seems to apply to people too. When I went to buy a pair of pants last week, the merchant took one look at me and handed me a size “large.” Hmmmm. Maybe I’ll think twice before ordering a “Take Home.”



Exercise

The norm is quickly changing, but in our neighborhood Thai women do not participate in strenuous exercise. Perhaps this explains the portion sizes. I told my tutor that I went for a 10 mile run, and she appeared to be concerned. As if, perhaps, my uterus may have fallen out somewhere along the road.

The one form of exercise that IS acceptable for women here is aerobics. Every night at 6:00 a group of women meet in the grocery store parking lot for an intense hour of aerobic dance. I tried to go a couple of times when my sister-in-law was in town. We spun. We stomped. We kicked. But mostly we just flailed around as helpless foreigners while a professional-looking dancer yelled what sounded like angry instructions in Thai. I haven't given up on my dream of becoming a Chiangmai aerobic junkie, but for this white girl, running 10 miles is so much easier.



Water Fights

The only water fighers we were brave enough to photograph.

There’s a three-day holiday in April (or five-day, depending on your level of enthusiasm) called “Songkran.” It’s basically one big city-wide water festival. Everyone, young and old, rich and poor, douses each other with super-soakers and buckets of water. On the first day of the festival our family walked to the main road to assess the situation. We saw adults piled into the back of pickup trucks, throwing barrels of water on other trucks as they speed down the highway. Meanwhile a gang of high-schoolers stood on the side of the road hiding behind a sign and tossing gallons of water unsuspecting motorcycles.

Last year about 400 people died during the holiday, mostly from alcohol related motorcycle accidents. Needless to say, we decided not to drive anywhere this year during Songkran.



Tones

Sorting tones with flashcards.

The Thai language has 5 tone—high, mid, low, rising and falling. The inflection of your voice changes the meaning of the word. Depending on what tone and vowel length you say the word “mai” in, you can say “wood”, “not”, “new”, “burn”, “calculate”, “widow”, “warrant”, “mile”, “microphone”, “silk”, and “isn’t that right?”



Script

The Thai language has 44 consonants, many of which seem to represent “t” or “k” sounds. When Thais write, all the letters are pushed together sothatthesentencelookslikeonebigword. I still can’t read Thai, but after I get speaking down a little better I hope to work on reading. In the meantime we’re picking up lots of cans at the grocery and thinking, “I wonder what’s inside?” Occasionally we’re terribly mistaken, like the time we bought some Thai version of buttermilk and added it to our fruit smoothie.



Food

If you felt bad for us stumbling through the language and drinking buttermilk smoothies, spare your pity. We’re loving the food here. We can buy a delicious plate of green curry or fried vegetables for less than a buck at the mom-and-pop restaurant down the road. As long as we remember to add in the words “not spicy” (in the right tone), we’re set. I have learned, however, to practice my order before leaving the house. The first time I tried to order green curry, I said it with the wrong tone and a Midwest accent and asked the (rather perplexed) restaurant owner if I could please have a “green prostitute” for lunch.